Newspaper Ad

Ad- Man seeking woman that’s independent, strong, attractive kids or no kids, grandchildren and must know how to win a man. That was the ad in my paper that’s in my mind and you answered with this response;

Ad- woman seeking a man that loves children first! A man who can love and sweep me off my feet! A man who is not afraid of a woman who is independent! A man who is not afraid to take the lead! A man who knows what it feels like to be in love and not the fact that you are in love with the fact of being in love. A man who makes me feel like everyday it gives me another reason to grab my phone and wait for a call.

I responded;

Ad- I am that man you speak of. I am that man who loves children. I am that man who will make you heart yearn for me. I am that man if I lead, follow me, if I hesitate push me, if I cross you let me go because loyalty is everything, death before dishonor. I am that man who brings love not hate,who brings love not pain, who brings pleasure not shame. The man who you see has less to lose and more to gain.

You responded;

I am a woman who don’t come that often in a lifetime. I am a woman who will show you how to love and that’s not a bad thing. I would show you trust and to love mentally. I am that woman whose children and grandchildren made you come alive all over again. I am that woman you can count on. I am that woman who has your back. I am that woman who will bring your wall down if it is up. I am that woman who will hold your deepest secrets with my life and love and make you understand that finance is good but romance is greater. The woman who makes you understand that your heart beats different when its love inside. I am that woman!

I got the paper today and seen that ad and I wrote a new ad;

Ad-Whoever or wherever you are, come to me, let’s meet, let me see your face, let me see your smile, let me listen to your voice, let me look into your eyes and see your truth , your pain, your good, your bad, your happy, your sad. Light, light, let me see your dreams so I can wake you up. Just let me in the front door, the back door, the middle or end’ Let me be your man, lover, consloler or friend. Let me be the food you take in, let me read your thoughts, let me get in the race because I want to begin.

So our ad reached other and I received one more ad;

My number is ***-***- ****

Call today, call tonight, call when you can, because I can’t lose.

Do you know why? You are the one, I am determined to win!!

                                                                   Heart Felt and Spoken,

                                                                         Man-Man

                                                                    Copyright © 2010

True Words

Love is something I was knew was true

I always let it pass me by until I met you

Appreciation was not part of my life

Your husband took you for granted now he lost his wife

I opened your heart and operated on your soul

You made me understand it takes two halfs to make you whole

The whole point I am trying to make

I want to be with you mentally, spiritually and sexually for goodness sake

So if you want to this pleasure and not pain

Get with me and you best to believe I will make it rain

Man-Man

Copyright © 2010

My thoughts at night

As I look at my cell wall I begin to think is this me

Is this the destiny my life has in store for me,

Is this all the pain that I can see……

We say change is great and chances are slim,

But all I see are bars at night when my lights are dim…..

The call for freedom is my fight

Because I no longer want these nightmares, I see day and night….

What is these nightmares that I speak of

Is it the sound of my toilet, is it the sound of my sink

Or is it the dream of passion that makes me think……..

My thoughts at night is a everlasting Fight and the will for me to know

Is something within my heart and still continue to grow…..

As I look at my cell wall, I begin to think its me

But I come to the conclusion it is my self denial I see…..

Man-Man

Copyright © 2010

Where was my father?

Where was my father

I felt like a hot burning volcano

Ready to erupt, I lived my life,

Without my father, but did I give a fuck?

Where was my father

I felt like a helpless sick fish

At the bottom of the sea, did he leave?

Because of his incompetence or did he leave because of me?

Where was my father

I had to fend for myself

Learn how to tie my shoes, play sports

Or kiss a girl, even learned how to

Open a rubber, all he wanted to do was drink; all he wanted to do was drink

Smoke, get high

And thought he was a love, you were

A coward, wimp, a faggot undercover

Where was my father

When I needed him for a test

When all my dreams were laid to rest

I felt hopeless with pain, like a hard knife in my chest…

Where was my father

When I started to cry, but no tears came down my face

You was a loser and waste

Um, um, um is that victory I taste

Where was my father

When I had a shitty diaper and late night cries

Late night hunger pains, headaches that’s off the chain

I worried my mother half to death, damn near sent her insane

Where was my father

I don’t know where my father was, but I know he is dead

I thought I forgave him a long time ago, but the question is still in my head

Where was my father

So what do I do?

Should I forgive and forget

And stop feeling sorrow that nigga is my past and I continue to strive for tomorrow

Where was my father

So this chapter in my book

About was my father has come to a complete stop

He has a hella drinker but a father um, um, um, I think not

Man-Man
Copyright © 2010

A connection

When ya’ll first came here, I never knew how deep a female friend could be
Until I meet these women who came with a goal and plan
A plan to teach
A plan to learn
A goal to care
A goal to understand
To make us see life is hard, but it is ok to be a man
A man is a person who connects with himself and other with deep circumstances
Forget what the judge or society says
Ya’ll made us believer in second chances
I made a choice to take a change
From a negative to positive and the results are good
Fuck what you heard homey all of ya’ll are welcome in my hood!

Man-Man
Copyright © 2010

WHAT MAKES THE SOUL CRY

I ask myself what makes the soul cry
Is it the pain I feel in my heart?
Is it the cries I hear at night?
Or is it the man who no longer cares
About life and his soul gave up the fight


Through my hardest trials, I never cried
Is my soul as hard as a stone; does blood flow
Through my veins
Or did I just accept that life of crime while my soul continues to go insane


What is one of the deepest thoughts a man can feel
Is it the thoughts of family and friends?
Or do you feel like your life has been a disaster
And you start to wonder when it will end


What makes my soul cry I ask myself all the times?
Is it I was selfish to love?
Never letting anyone in
Sometimes it feels like my old soul has died
And I am still waiting for my resurrection to begin


Someone once told me you make my heart smile
I didn’t understand because my heart was foul
I want the answer to why does the soul cry
Because I still don’t know why
Because my life was trifling
So anything positive I am willing to try


Man-Man
Copyright © 2010

8 years ago

8 years ago was I a man? Or was I a boy trapped inside of a man, trying to find out how to become a man?

Why?

I was only a drug dealer, womanizer, controller, and manipulator.

I didn’t care about life

Only what life had to offer me

Was I selfish?

Yes, selfish to compromise, utilize, fantasize or even look inside

Inside of what?

Look within my soul, look within my heart – to visualize a different perspective in my life

Not giving myself a new start

Start to what?

My desires was my best friend, destruction never will end

Cars, houses, pain, this girl, that girl

Shit, how the hell shall I begin?

I met my father one time

A man he claim he was

He was not a man

A man does not leave his child for dead

Unclothe,

Unsheltered,

Mother to struggle alone

Fuck that a coward is a life I will never condone

My inner thoughts say this

My inner thoughts say that

My system was to get money and never become a rat

Money was the root to my evil

I was blind to life

Blind to a smile

I didn’t care about the youth

8 years ago I was a menace and I didn’t give a fuck about the truth

Man-Man 

Copyright © 2010